It is suggested to read the post “The Dream” first.
I will publish as I go, so this will be, such as life, a constant “under construction” post. If I stop in mid- sentence, so be it. I will still publish it for anyone to see. There will be times when I need to share details on the situation so please be patient. I do not intend to babble on about my past, but some things need to be stated for clarity. I am attempting to share the evolving meaning of this dream starting with a completely surface level understanding and move into my current level of awareness. There will be many updates because as a student of life, this dream continues to teach me as I open up to the various depths of its meaning. Its teachings are as limited as my awareness.
Paragraph 1: An elementary understanding of a house in a dream is that it relates to the person/body dreaming the dream. It felt familiar to me as I loved that old acreage house and reluctantly sold it three years earlier. If one wants to relate it to the body, when I sold that acreage I had moved because I was to get married to someone that, to anyone close to me knew, I should not have married. Crazy enough, I left that marriage after a year and it wasn’t but 18 months later, and at the time of the dream, involved in the same type of relationship only not married. Textbook dream analysis would be the acreage was my safe zone.
Hearing friends laughter and recognizing the voices as friends that had helped me with the initial move out of my ex-husband’s house was another comfort piece for me as they were only casual acquaintances when they assisted me and then and now are dear friends. They were not inside the house, but their presence was still noted and still comforting me during a time of need as they did in life.
The voice telling me a storm was coming and that I had to get ready… My understanding of the storm meaning at the time was my mother was ill and her time before she passed was limited. My thoughts shifting to the welfare of my daughters is a natural, parental reaction. Knowing that my attention would be elsewhere and realizing that they would be fine comes from my conviction of their strength and independence. They were MY rocks. They were and are very capable of taking care of themselves. As I realized in the dream, I was the one that had to prepare for the storm. (The family dynamics at the time was chaotic and there was much to deal with as there always is during a time such as this. Family struggles, making sure someone is with her in the home, has rides for doctor visits,etc. )
Paragraph 2: Seeing dead marigold flowers and remembering what Mom had shown me was another comfort. The fact that marigolds could be replanted and can bloom again gave confirmation to my belief that she would always be with me just maybe in a different form.
The pitted sidewalk was more confirmation of my location and also to take note of the condition for later in the dream. The cigarette butts and my concern were ego fearing of being found out. I was very physically active and a closet smoker. I knew how bad this was health-wise for me and my image I wanted to portray.
Paragraph 3: The golf course was a time and place change alert. (After the divorce I had moved back to the town I left earlier and bought a house near a golf course.) The feeling of it being filmed coincides with ego’s paranoid condition under the circumstances I was living. My ex standing next to me and feeling like I shouldn’t be there makes sense that I got out of a relationship. It was the pat on the back my ego needed for getting out regardless of what people thought. The thought of confusion on who it was for sure and the need to get out was a warning of my current relationship. (At the time I didn’t want to see that, even though something deep inside knew.)
Using a tricycle to carry my mother to go gamble at a strip club (Congo Club) set the scene for my understanding at the time of: A tricycle, a child’s way of travel, simple yet effective. The woman on the back with the heavy, hairy coat made sense to be my mother because of her illness and we were going to gamble. The Congo Club, a place of shame, guilt and the hill before arriving there. Losing control going down the hill and the struggle going back up on a tricycle: What I was about to go through with my mother I had to accept that I was not going to be in control. I could not use my usual take charge of the situation attitude. The realization that nothing in my body hurt as I pedaled up the hill, but my head kept repeating how hard this was…ego knowing it would have to let go. My emotions were going to get a work over. The control I was accustomed to was not going to work. That tricycle represented my simple understanding of religion, “God” and one’s journey to death was going to be the vehicle that carried us through these final steps. There were a few others I felt more qualified medically and spiritually to do this. As much resistance as I felt by the looping words of this being so hard…I would be the one walking my mother out of this world.
Paragraph 4: Noticing the perfection of the pavement and all the vibrant color pigments leads one to the picture of what common thought of heaven looks like. The silhouettes of people lining the roadside then could only be past relatives welcoming and encouraging the continuation of the path we were embarking on. The crowned, majestic beast gently pushing the barking dog out of the way represented Jesus in his power and glory exhibiting compassion towards the resistant dog that was me, but upon waking I thought it was a pet of mine. The buck defecating on the road and the dog grabbing something out of it before leaving the scene, at surface level, represented the turmoil and chaos during the time and my refusal to let go of control.
Paragraph 5: The resistance to travel into this scene was another indication of loss of control concerns and not wanting to let go. The angelic voices and the last glance at the beauty that surrounded me were the green lights to keep going and that all would be well. This is what needed to be done. I was taking Mom to “heaven’s gate.” The scene immediately switching back to normal colors and condition and the old woman, Mom, not on the back of the tricycle anymore was another indication of heaven and earth difference. The euphoric ease felt as I coasted along was showing me that I was enough and very capable of doing the job that was, in my dream completed, but in life awaiting me. Feeling the wind in my hair and along my face as I woke was the gentle nudge that there is work yet to do. The tissues in the right pocket and the bag of marigold heads and a nickel in the left in Paragraph 8 were Mom’s gentle taps of encouragement to keep going and what I just witnessed had great meaning.